My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
