just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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