I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she looked like the before picture.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
