i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
