I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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