This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
