its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
