oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
