My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
