Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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