We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
