capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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