she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
