so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize