AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
