I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
