Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
is wine microwaveable?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
