i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
