i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
