We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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