Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
