Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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