Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
