Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
