yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my sisters under your porch take her home
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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