i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
