I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize