so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
