Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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