your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
