I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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