Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
