I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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