OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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