somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize