either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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