fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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