I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize