Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
