Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize