He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
