Me too!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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