what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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