I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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