Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
