when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
