I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
