I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
