Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
