I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
