I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Randomize
