I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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