eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize