I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
