his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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