hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
