Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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