Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
