omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
